Two siblings fall through a puddle and must race to find the next puddle, before it evaporates, or they’ll be lost forever in jungle swamp.
It feels like a suit to me. No personality. Any thoughts?
Sounds interesting, but I think it needs a bit more. According to Save the Cat! your pitch should have a touch of irony to hook the reader and offer a set-up with the promise of more. It's a lot to expect from just a few words, but when it works, it can absolutely garner interest in your story.
I completely agree. I have a fatter pitch with more but twitter is a bitter mistress. Thanks for the tips...